The power of community 🤝

"My life is knitted together by the most exquisite human beings."
– Elizabeth Gilbert

⛓️‍💥 Rediscovering connection

Growing up as an introverted kid, I dreaded gatherings. I was not only introverted; I was shy. The Philippines, having a very communal culture, did not help. The idea of working on myself, being introspective, and achieving success through individual effort appealed to me. It also aligned with the individualistic, me-first narrative often promoted in social media.

But life has a way of gently nudging us towards growth.

During a trip to San Vicente, Palawan, our tuk-tuk got stuck in the road when a river overflowed. For over an hour, we waited, chatting with the residents as the water slowly receded. Although we had conversations about how the local government needs to do something about it (which is a separate story in itself), I also got to witness their collective spirit.

As the water became shallow, locals spontaneously came together to help carry motorcycles and push tuk-tuks through the still-flowing stream. What struck me most was their genuine enthusiasm for helping each other–they declined any offers of payment, their faces lit with the simple joy of helping others.

It was community in action. A modern-day bayanihan, if you will. Instead of carrying houses, it was a sight of carrying vehicles.

This experience took me back to my childhood, where such acts of communal support were commonplace. Living in a world emphasizing individualism and self-reliance, I felt like I had almost forgotten the warmth of collective care. It was a reminder of how beautiful it is to assume the best in people and to help without expecting anything in return.

📒 Unreasonable Hospitality

These experiences led me to read Will Guidara's book Unreasonable Hospitality: The Remarkable Power of Giving People More Than They Expect. In this book, Guidara reveals how going above and beyond in hospitality can transform businesses and human connections alike.

Some people or cultures tend to be described as hospitable. My understanding of the word deepened when the book differentiated service and hospitality.

“Service is black and white; hospitality is color. 'Black and white' means you’re doing your job with competence and efficiency; 'color' means you make people feel great about the job you’re doing for them.”
– Will Guidara

Two key lessons from the book apply to life and business:

1 - Create meaningful moments 🚎

"Most important, we have an opportunity—a responsibility—to make magic in a world that desperately needs more of it."
– Will Guidara

There is an online trend sharing what it is like to work in the hospitality business. When one works in hospitality, one witnesses the highs and lows of customers, revealing how magical and honorable service work is.

If there's anything to learn, it's to look for opportunities to go beyond the expected. Whether remembering a customer's preference or surprising a friend with a snack, these small gestures can transform ordinary interactions into memorable experiences.

Being on the receiving end of others' hospitality is something I'm deeply grateful for a few weeks ago. As I boarded a bus from Denpasar to Malang, I realized my friend and I were the only ones unable to communicate in Bahasa Indonesian. I tried speaking to other passengers, but most couldn't understand English.

As the bus conductor approached me mid-trip, he realized I couldn't speak Indonesian. He looked confused, unable to speak English himself. I reached for my phone, hoping for a signal to use Google Translate. That's when the person across from me spoke English. Thank God I was seated near an English teacher! I was relieved. She communicated with the bus conductor for us throughout the trip. (Yes, I know, I should learn more of the local language next time haha)

I've always preferred to be the giver and make people feel welcome. It was interesting to be on the receiving side of this hospitality. I feel very indebted, and the conversations I had with English-speaking locals, sharing a slice of their lives, enriched my experience immeasurably.

2 - Empower your team (or yourself) to be generous 👋

“My favorite was 'Make the charitable assumption,' a reminder to assume the best of people, even when (or perhaps especially when) they weren’t behaving particularly well.”
– Will Guidara

Foster a culture where going the extra mile is encouraged. In life, this might mean permitting yourself to be unexpectedly kind to others, even when not required. It's about choosing to see the best in people and situations, opening doors for positive interactions.

While staying in East Java, Indonesia, my friend & I got to talk with an insightful guy staying in the same accommodation. Later that night, he mentioned he talked to us because we were the only ones who smiled back. No one smiled back the entire day. It was a funny realization. We were staying at an accommodation filled with tourists like ourselves. I didn’t notice no one really smiled back until it was pointed out. We just assumed people were just tired from the tours they do.

It reminded me of advice I'd once read about greeting "hi" or smiling at people as you walk by. It helps with rejection insensitivity since a lot of people won't respond and if they do, it's often worth it.

These experiences have shown me that hospitality—whether from strangers pushing a tuk-tuk through a river or a simple hello—creates a ripple effect. It amplifies the sense of community, benefiting both the receiver and the giver, opening us all to unexpected connections and moments of joy.

Growing up introspective, I knew introspection had its merits. What I've begun to realize is that there's much to learn from outrospection as well—from observing and engaging with the world and people around me. This journey of looking outward would teach me lessons that self-reflection alone couldn't provide.

📚 More on community and hospitality

• The Secret Ingredients of Great Hospitality: Will Guidara's TED talk, expanding on the ideas from his book "Unreasonable Hospitality."
• The Filipino Story: A beautiful encapsulation of Filipino culture that I thoroughly enjoyed watching.
• Having worked remotely around the Philippines since last year, my friend & I have started logging our favorite spots through work+wander.